I Was Never Good At Licking Ass

My dad licked ass quite excellently as a youngster.
He licked the asses of the great men of Leftist academe.
Yet wrote a thesis on the innocuous thought of John Dewey.
Got great jobs sight unseen by merely sticking his tongue.
Up the fat mealy asshole of the unified directorship of.
Philosophy. His dad too was pretty good in the arts of.
Sphincter-cleaning, having risen from the ranks of a.
Peon cheese salesman to the president of the Brazilian.
Division of the largest butcher in the world, Companía.
Swift do Brazil. But me, I was never good at this.
Nobody taught me how to lick a man’s ass, not my.
Mother—she was brushing her hair before the mirror—not.
My father—he was writing books on great men—so.
I climbed not the ladder. I was artless and.
Ignorant, though I suppose had some gross man stuck.
His butt cheeks in my face and spread them apart, I.
Might have figured out what to do. Instead I.
Wrote things that offended, made the ass cheeks close.
Instead of open, got myself suspended from the.
Writing program even. I got my Master’s without.
Once having met with my Major Professor, who also.
Happened to be the director, another “Great Man,” famous.
To a degree, who could have lifted the phone for me.
Done for me what my dad’s directors did for.
Him. Instead he slipped me the degree below the.
Table so nobody would see, and sent me on my way.
A static pea in the middle of an eight-lane highway.
When alas my dad retired, I told him I had never been.
Good at kissing ass, an excuse for my stasis, one that.
Made perfect sense. “That’s too bad,” my father.
Said thoughtfully, and farted.


Opham Denyer lives in New Jersey where he loves life and looks forward to the future. He is poor, but who needs money? His favorite things are dumpster diving and speaking in Korean.

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